Bitch or a Leader?
Why do women have to be so tough to get anywhere in life, and why do they have to be toughest on other women?Norwegian media has in the past few months had a field day over what could be categorized as Norway’s biggest catfight. The leader and her deputy at the Norwegian Confederation of Trade Unions had a “little” rift and they chose the media to air their dirty laundry in. This case has gotten me thinking about women leaders, and the way we judge and treat other women.
If I had to summarize this case I would say that it was a woman on a power trip that was exercising her leader power by being a bitch to the other woman, which was tough enough herself to plan a revenge in the form of going taking the story to the newspapers. This ultimately led to the leader, having to resign her job rather than admitting that she had done anything wrong. No doubt, there are two sides to this story and I doubt either one of them was an innocent little angel. It is however in mind extremely distasteful to take the story to the media and refusing to admit that you might have done something wrong.
So, the general public in Norway pretty much treats them as both being bitches even though many tend to take at least partial sides. Some say the leader couldn’t say she was wrong because then she wouldn’t be a true leader. Do leaders really have to be like that? I would think it was a strength being able to once in a while admit that you were wrong but when I think about it the women that have gotten far in the world don’t really strike me as the soft apologizing type.
Do as I say or else!
I did a mental check of the women leaders of political parties in Norway and realized that I wouldn’t really want to meet some of them in a dark alley late at night. My next thought was that rest that didn’t scare me were the women I generally think should be replaced by someone stronger. Ahhhh, wait a minute; I think the strong ones are a bit scary but the rest isn’t scary enough? This is being said by a women who you would think that supported women getting ahead in this world.
It seems like we women are our worst enemies. I myself am not particularly fond working with other women. One of the worst work experience I had was the place where there was only women working. Yes, it was a pure bitch feast. I am learning to deal with women and on a good day I can even spot when woman around me has planned something evil to say with the sole purpose of making you feel bad. On a bad day when I am not ready for it, it still gets me down and makes me want to either give up or revenge.
It is a fact that women are much more ruthless, more conniving, take credit for your work more often, and use unethical methods such as lying, and sucking up to get ahead. I am not saying that men are all innocent but they seem to do all these things to much lesser extent.
Sure men have had a hand in requiring us to be ruthless, but it generally seems we are more ruthless towards other women then men. The positive way to look at this would be to imagine this means that we don’t really feel competition in men and that we rather need to fight each other. I just don’t think we are there yet. Wouldn’t it make more sense to fight the guys first and then each other?
facts and feelings
Note from mediumgeek: Comment had to be manually restored after an aggressive spam delete accidently deleted it. I apologize if I ruined anything!
Are you sure? When I think of the women I have worked with, most of them have been pretty straight, worked hard, used their brain, and got where they are on merit, with a very few who have been lying incompetent cheats. Which is about my experience with men.
On the other hand, I think I do react differently to an incompetent woman, iike rhetorically asking myself "who is she sleeping with that lets her get there?" than to an incompetent man - mostly because it is much rarer in my experience that a woman will promote a man for reasons that have anything to do with sex (consciously or otherwise, and discounting the minority case of gay men).
I suspect that other people also have a different reaction when they are upset by a woman or a man - and maybe woman who are upset have a different way of showing it.
Equality is an interesting idea, but in general it has a way to go before it becomes a reality. Both in our attitudes and in the realities of the workplace. I work in a
place with an overall low proportion of women, but a high concentration of them in junior administrative work, and junior kitchen work. Every receptionist is a woman,
almost every senior manager is a man (and the most senior woman is, unfortunately, not impressively competent, let alone a shining example). The company prides itself
on being non-discriminatory, but I don't think they are as good in the application as in the rhetoric.
Sad, sad
Well keep in mind that women tend to be nicer to men than other women... So you are likely to experience the milder side of women as long as you are not in direct competition with them. By the description of your work place, it doesn't sound that you have too much competition by women so you might be a bit "sheltered".
It is sad that the only case of a women high up in your company isn't more stellar... What we women need is good women in good position, doing a good job. That will make the way for more women to get ahead. Unfortunately, these "good" women rarely get promoted. The real world seems to appreciate being good at talking much more than any kind of skills. But now I am ranting again, time to go to bed :) .