I am normally not a big fan of Berlusconi but this one time I think he might be onto something :D

This blogging thing isn't coming back to me as naturally as I had hoped. I have started some entries but find it difficult to sit down to finish them.

Until I get off my ass... or actually until I get onto my ass, here is the funniest English translation we saw in Guadeloupe at the Fort Fleur d'Epee.

One thing I always do before going on vacation is to worry myself senseless about various silly things. It struck me today I wasn't the only one worrying and I started wondering whether this is something people feel like they have to do to cap their excitement? The Web is full of travel material, but what you should stress about before going to different places is never covered. So to help other people that are planning on traveling to the Caribbean, I thought I should compile a checklist of some good but useless things to worry about.

* Worry about sharks attacking you. If it feels unreal I recommend watching Into the Blue which apparently is filmed somewhere in the Caribbean or maybe Jaws.

* Read a book by a local author that isn't particularly fond of their home country. For Antigua I recommend A Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid. That gives you scary information about how the locals will despise you, enlightens you about where the stuff you flush down the toilet goes, highlights the shortcomings of the local hospitals, and even mentions something about feeding tourists with broken glass...

* Start focusing on the weather. Keep checking the weather and extensively discuss with your travel partner every time the temperature is under the average, it rains, or when it is cloudy. You know you are successful when you start dreaming about minus degrees and wake up whimpering about it.

* If you have to transit between two airports, use it for all its worth. Expect that you get the baggage late, that you cannot find the bus, that nobody speaks English to help you, that you have just missed the bus when you find it, that there is a traffic jam between the airports, and that you of course will miss the flight. Worry that the later flight that day is overbooked or that the airline tries to blame you for being late and forces you to buy a new flight at very steep prices.

* Worry that the hotel has lost your booking and that you have to pay a fortune for a new place to stay at.

* Worry that the local Caribbean airline you plan on flying with goes bankrupt when you read that they are having problems with striking workers and costs.

* Worry so much that you will get sick right before leaving that you actually start developing a sore throat for no apparent reason...

* Start worrying about snakes and other scary creatures. Do some research and you might find out that you are going to one of total of four Caribbean islands with poisonous snakes.

* And the most important thing to worry about is of course that you have been looking forward to the vacation for so long that it will never live up to your expectations....

Feel free to offer hints for more stuff to worry about. I still have few hours left :) .

If you take private picture on your mobile phone the latest Opera Mini version might not be for you...

Explanation for my non Norwegian friends. Conradi is a Norwegian actor which lost his mobile phone with some private pictures on it. They were put online.

Women actresses that have their mouth open all the time or strut their lips in an idiotic way have been annoying me for a while. Yesterday, I went to see the lastest James Bond film. I must admit that I was very skeptical as the only reason I have gone to see James movies
in the past was to watch Pierce Brosnan's spectualar performance as James Bond (read as "to drool over").



It was a big shock realizing that the new James Bond, Daniel Craig was doing the typical strutting model lips. Silly model lips on a man?!?! He looked like Zoolander! Now, I loved the Zoolander movie but there he was making fun of the models... he wasn't trying to be the world's most charming movie character, James Bond.

The world must be going under!

What are you supposed to think when you get an e-mail containing the following message?

Is it me that needs to rethink my book buying habits or they that need to rethink their sales techniques and customer relations?

I caught myself doing it again... This time I was wondering if I could practice some kind of voodoo to make the people at Kiss feel the pain I felt today when trying to use their player. What piece of shit!



I rarely actually wonder if I can get voodoo magic to work but lately I have been noticing how horribly superstitious I am. So I pride myself of not believing in God, but I still blindly believe in various other things that make even less sense. I have started tracking myself a little bit in the hope I will be able to drop this silliness. Few of the things that I do or feel superstitious about:

• I make a wish upon all eyelashes that fall off.
• I knock on wood and say 7, 9, 13 every time I state that something bad has never happened to me. This is supposed to prevent it from happening right after you say something like that.
• I feel bad if I open an umbrella inside.
• I don't start a new job on a Monday (I actually asked to start the job at Opera on a Tuesday instead of a Monday).
• I feel uneasy on Friday the 13th.
• I feel uneasy if a black cat runs in front of me.
• I get upset every time I dream about water (always been told it is bad and means death or sickness).

Then I own two sets of Tarot cards... and the other day I just _had_ to rotate one of my coffee cups three times over my head, blow into with a cross like movement, and put it upside down on my heater. Why? Well of course, to read the future from the pictures formed by the dried coffee...



The question is how dangerous are these? I have lectured myself that blind faith is dangerous but can I excuse these weirdnesses of mine as being harmless? I am hoping that by exposing my superstitious behavior that I will be ashamed enough of myself to I stop doing these things. So now flog me, make me embarrassed:-)!

Two weekends ago, I went to Bergen to attend Divisha's and Kristian's wedding. Next to the hotel was a slightly puzzling restaurant that advertised that they had take away and the best international taste.
Now, I know what Indian, Mexican, Chinese taste is like but can't quite put my finger on what International taste would be like.

Indian Tikka Masala with Swedish meatballs? Japanese sushi wrapped in Italian pasta, or maybe Mexican tacos with Icelandic rotten shark? I guess International taste gives you endless "delicious" possibilities. I almost regret not trying it...

Haven't we all heard at one point or another: "You haven't finished your food. Think about all the starving children in Africa!"



It is a really stupid thing to say when you think about it. How is me finishing my food going to help the poor starving children in Africa?



If anything, it will help them less. Think about it this way. I live in a country where there is overflow of food. If I am not finishing my food it is probably because I am already full. If I force down the rest, it is only gonna make me bigger. If I keep at it for long enough I will get obese and with that comes health problems. Health problems will cost society money and if bad enough I will not be able to work as much
or at all and hence I wont pay taxes. In addition, other people's tax money will have to pay social
benefits for me. This means that there is less money the government has to donate to
development aid.



No, it doesn't really help them does it?

For some unexplained reason I started talking about the fact that I was a member of the Icelandic church on my way back from the post office yesterday. Since I am quite obviously an atheist that conversation ended in me claiming that I need to resign as a member.



When I came home I found something in my mail box that I have never received before and that gave me a slightly creepy feeling. A invitation to masses of the Icelandic congregation here in Oslo I couldn't stop my silly head from wondering whether this was some kind of sign.



This morning I managed to sleep through the church bells that have woken me up every Sunday morning at 10 o'clock since I moved here. I happily ceased the opportunity to decide that this was a sign that yesterdays letter meant nothing.



I have freed my head from believing in things like religion. Next on list has to be superstition!